A while back I made a post about my anxiety and how bad it had gotten. Thankfully since then it had been a lot better. However, recently that has not been the case.
For about three or four months now my anxiety has been getting progressively worse. During the past few weeks there have even been days where I can't seem to go five minutes without feeling anxious. Every little thing seems to be making me anxious and it has become such a hindrance on my life.
My anxiety is triggered by many things but primarily by not being able to get in touch with loved ones, specifically, my parents. This isn't me getting anxious because I don't hear from them for a few hours/days, it's minutes! If I send a text or call either of them and they either don't answer or take longer than ten minutes to respond I get so anxious it often leads to a severe panic attack. It doesn't matter how much a try to rationalize it, the panic is almost inevitable.
Along with this, my anxiety is preventing me from doing a lot. It prevents me from making necessary phone calls - even the one i need to(and still have yet to make) to my doctor so that I can discuss what measures to take for my anxiety as far as therapy and medication go. It also prevents me from going to class occasionally. This is especially frustrating because although I'm not a massive fan of the subject matter(math - yuck!) I do love the class. The professor and the fellow students make a subject I hate really enjoyable!
That being said, I hope to make some changes within the next month that help me with this.
- I'm going to go back to therapy. I actually love therapy. It helps being able to talk to an outside party with a more knowledgeable understanding about anxiety and what's going on in my head.
- I will most likely being taking a mild anti-anxiety medication to take the edge off. I am typically very wary of any sort of medication because I don't want to become dependent on it. However, it has become very apparent to me that it is necessary for the time being.
- I am going to get back to exercising regularly. The endorphins will help lift my mood and I'll be getting back into better shape!
I'm excited to get started on these things so that I can improve my outlook on life and move on from this anxious period. I know they come and go and even once it has passed it will most likely be back. But, if I can get to a place where I am able to manage and predict it life will be so much better for myself. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember I just have to find better ways to manage it.
xx. Emory
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